User Reviews

All Reviews by PhatPat

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Panzer Dragoon Orta - Xbox

Beautiful. Astounding. The very "Sistine Chapel" of video games.

Having never experienced the series before this latest installment into the ubiquitous Dragoon legacy, Orta faced the daunting task of convincing me that the series lives up to the infamous and copious hype with which it is commonly associated. So, I laced up my boots, cracked my knuckles, and plunged in - reservations be damned. Let's just say, my convincing threshold was breached in...oh...about five minutes. There's no reason to beat around the bush when describing Panzer Dragoon Orta's graphical wizardry, so allow me to summarize what is likely the first response from 99.72615% of Orta gamers: GASP! GURGLE! B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B! Duh...Purty. Panzer Dragoon Orta is, without reasonable doubt, the most beautiful and fluid game of this genre in the history of console gaming. In fact, it's only a shame that such a world merely exists in the realm of fantasy and binary extrapolations. Your eyes hopelessly transfix to your screen. If not for the glare from your kitchen of neglected and enflamed Easy-Mac, you'd swear that you were actually riding shotgun with Orta. SmileBit has managed to blend astounding graphical realism with what can only be construed as an element of modern art - all at a blistering, hiccup-free 60 fps. It truly must be seen to be believed. If eyes could drool, you'd need cheek bibs while playing this game. There have been complaints about the "rail-based" system that drives this game, which critics claim removes much of the control from the player's hands. This may be distracting at first, but the sheer speed at which the scenery whips by and the general melee of combat will convince you that a full roaming 3D world would have been physiologically impossible for the human brain to process. As packaged, you'll already feel gray matter seeping from your ears after 15 minutes of play. Bottom line: GET IT. NOW. PhatPat

Amplitude - PS2

As addictive as FreQuency, and twice as beautiful!

It's a shame that some of the greatest titles are often overlooked. I could probably count on one hand the number of people that have even heard of FreQuency, let alone actually played it. Yet, mention "PaRappa the Rapper", and people will chime in from across the room. Having played both games, I can honestly say that PaRappa can't hold a beat to FreQuency (har. har.) when it comes to ingenious, immersive "follow my lead" gameplay. FreQuency was such a tightly designed game, in fact, I'm amazed that the developers actually managed to improve on it with Amplitude. The concept is identical: press a button in time with the rhythm of a music track. The execution is slightly different, however. While, in FreQuency, player movement was restricted to a "tunnel-esque" path (think N2O), Amplitude unrolls this tunnel into a horizontal series of tracks that resemble a multi-lane highway. There are pros and cons to this approach, however. The obvious pro is that this exposes more space in the background, which is rife with pulsating streaks of color and imbedded music video clips that seem to stretch on forever. On the downside, tracks do not "roll over" from far left to far right (and vice-versa), which often requires the player to traverse six tracks to get from one side to the other. In a game where time is a precious resource, this can be an aggravating nuisance once a player is "in the zone." Aside from this minor complaint, Amplitude is a visceral "follow-on" to FreQuency. Why a "follow-on?" The graphics may have improved, the playlist may have grown, and a few more bells and whistles may have been added, but the mechanics are identical to FreQuency - making the game feel a bit stale. This results in a kind of "Wow! Purty. Eh... Done it before." feeling. Still...Highly recommended. PhatPat

Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo - GBA

There's a new drug in town, and its name is Super Puzzle Fighter II.

That's right - morphine...cocaine...The Simpsons...Lay's Potato Chips... Hah. Child's play. Nothing will suck away your soul with such profound aplomb as SPF II. Let's analyze the facts, shall we: 1) Characters and sound bites from Street Fighter II. You know - the 2D brawler in a perpetual state of "catch and release". Perhaps no other franchise in gaming history has gone through as many iterations as SFII, while still managing to remain fresh (somehow). Why the developers decided to plop atrocious, bug-eyed anime heads on the characters, however, is puzzling in itself. 2) Easy as apple pie gameplay. You've seen it a hundred times before: line up X blocks/gems/fruit of the same color/pattern and eliminate them before they reach the top of the screen. Simple, eh? 3) "Please, sir, may I have another" replay. No match is ever the same, and the surprising amount of hidden goodies to unlock, including hidden playable characters, only seems to feed into the addictive "quality" of the game. The best way to describe SPF II would be a cross of the features among Tetris Attack, Columns, and Dr. Mario. Now that I've managed to date myself - younguns need only know Super Puzzle Fighter is one of the better Tetris "knockoffs" out there. The developers did an admirable job of porting the game from the original Playstation, as the vast majority of features remain intact - the atrocious, bug-eyed anime heads and all... Personally, I'd like to see a direct port of the SNES version of Tetris Attack - which is, in PhatPat's opinion, the greatest puzzle game of all time. Why Nintendo won't wise up to these facts and squish it into a GBA cart is beyond me. PhatPat

The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past - GBA

A game title that evokes an identical emotion.

Let's face it...Everyone reading this review has grown up in two parallel universes: 1) The "real" world, and 2) the kingdom of Hyrule. We have followed Link on a surreal and epic journey of self- discovery since the glory days of the NES. This game is the most faithful adaptation of a classic masterpiece I have ever witnessed. Ironically, the game's title is appropriate - instantly rekindling past memories of jingling rupees and 2-D, Link-ish goodness in a time when cartridge-based video games ruled the earth. How faithful is this port? Well... 1) Start with original 5 X 3 in. SNES Zelda cart, 2) Place cart into Nintendo's magic compacting machine, 3) Remove finished product, 4) Carefully inject multiplayer support with Nintendo's magic GBA syringe, 5) Rejoice in nostalgic bliss. Bottom line: If you own a GBA and have even a shred of loyalty to the Zelda franchise, this game is an absolute necessity. After all...who doesn't want to relive the past every now and again? PhatPat