Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus

Nearly a decade after the release of the genre-defining epic, Final Fantasy VII, one of gaming's most hallowed titles finally gets a spin off. But with bland action and an incomprehensible plot, Dirge of Cerberus is one fantasy better left unfulfilled.

Vincent unleashes his inner Wolverine

Vincent unleashes his inner Wolverine

Dirge of Cerberus seems to have all the premium ingredients necessary for an awesome action game: a creepy-cool undead anti-hero, fast paced gunplay, the hallowed Final Fantasy VII name and the artistic touch of the typically top-notch Square-Enix development team. But instead of soaking up the spotlight with a dramatic, flashy (or even sharply produced) inaugural action title, Vincent Valentine's solo debut fizzles out, feeling more like a second-tier spin-off than the continuation of a marquee franchise.

Nearly every part of this game - from the tired and linear shooting gameplay to the underwhelming graphics and trite storyline - feels like an early generation PS2 game that's been tucked away somewhere for the past five or six years, only to be released at the end of that console's lifespan as a teasing reminder of the greatness that could have been.

Valentine's Day

The basic gameplay consists of defeating hordes of uninteresting and wimpy bad guys while completing super-simplistic objectives, like key card collection and escort missions. The levels themselves follow ultra-linear paths, leaving you with little freedom and no surprises as you fight your way though endless swarms of idiotic enemies. Dying midlevel will force you to restart from the beginning (provided you have a Phoenix Down in your inventory), but the Temp Save feature does allow you to mark your progress in each stage - though saving will automatically eject you from the level and return you to the start screen.

Fortunately, you can purchase upgrades and special powerups for your weapons and mix gun parts in addition to leveling up Vincent's core stats, which adds a nice touch of customization. There is also a substantial nostalgia factor in running into old allies and familiar enemies during your asinine adventure but, sadly, these brief encounters only prompt fond memories of FFVII that make Dirge of Cerberus look all the weaker by comparison.

The in-game cinemas are as gorgeous as ever

The in-game cinemas are as gorgeous as ever

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