GamePro presents March Sadness!
- March 07, 2008 21:26 PM PST
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The third bracket...
Bracket 3: Systems
1- Xbox 360's Red Rings of Death
The reason to hate the Red Rings of Death is pretty simple: your new $400 gaming system has just broken down and now it'll require repairs that mean you'll have to say goodbye to your system for a few weeks. Microsoft, you know you have a hardware problem when a pop-culture term is created and universally understood describing your faulty product.
2- The Original NES' Dusty Innards
Has there ever been a technology that was so adversely affected by dust? For whatever reason the terminals inside those 8-bit systems were dust magnets, and when it mixed with the filth collected inside these games it would become a perfect storm of flashing screen and busted pixels. Thus, we were required to forcedly and repeatedly blow into these dust traps in an attempt to remedy the problem.
3- Rock Band-Guitar Hero Incompatibility
The Rock Band game and instruments are not cheap, so imagine the relief when gamers found out that their previously-purchased Guitar Hero 3 controllers would be compatible. Unfortunately, after the game's release it was discovered that in fact the controllers were not compatible and more money would have to be spent for working ones. To this day, who the faulty party is remains a mystery.
4- Virtual Boy
180 dollars seems pretty steep for a system that causes back and eye pain and has only a handful of crappy games. As a result, gamers decided to stick with the more traditional multi-colored, 2D games played on systems that weren't described as "gimmicky." This system was also in no way portable, even though it was advertised as such. Nintendo's only major misstep in almost 25 years in the console biz.
5- The Death of the Arcades
Remember when you used to enter these dark and dingy havens, crowd around that sweaty, chain-smoker, and watch him demolish every character in Mortal Kombat. Well, those days of gaming in this truly unique setting are nearly gone, since home consoles can now outperform the majority of those large machines. As a result, us gamers are now relegated to interacting largely through microphones and the internet.
6- Half-Assed Backwards Compatibility
In another attempt to save a dime at the expense of the consumer, many gaming companies no longer include backwards compatibility with their systems. And if they do it's only for a few specified titles. Hopefully this trend doesn't catch on, because a future without the ability to play PlayBoy the Mansion on a PS9 is a future no one wants.
7- Atari Jaguar
Advertised as the first 64-bit home console during the time 16-bit was all the rage, the Atari Jaguar was a console that seemed to have everything going for it, except sales. This unsuccessful system remained on the market for a little more than 3 years before dying off and being forgotten by many. The failure of the Jaguar and Atari's handheld Lynx system left the company in a dire state.
8- Sega 32X
A system that was initially designed to increase the longevity of the aging Genesis ended up only lasting a little over a year on its own, thanks in part to a small lineup of games that barely looked better than its 16-bit predecessor. Some claim this system was responsible for providing the initial momentum in Sega's decline, and after one look at the launch title Cosmic Carnage, most would have to agree.
9- Continued Wii Shortages
How is it that after nearly 2 years, if you want to purchase a Wii you either have to make daily phone calls to department stores, know someone on the "inside," or pay ridiculous amounts of money on eBay. At this point, Nintendo really has no excuse for keeping these systems out of the public's hands, unless they've enacted a diabolical plot to drive up the demand by lessening the supply.
10- Region Lockout
Region Lockout prevents people from being able to play games originally made in other countries on their consoles. This effectively prevents some markets from enjoying these titles at the same time as other markets. What this means is many frustrated gamers will have to sit and brood knowing that halfway across the world, someone is playing a game that they've waited years for.
11- The Death of the Dreamcast
Due to Sega's poor console track record with the 32X, Sega CD, and Saturn, it's finest console had the shortest life. Despite some amazing software, innovative ideas like the Visual Memory Unit, and hardware that competed pretty well with Sony's jauggernaut PS2, the Dreamcast just couldn't catch on with the general public.
12- PSP Load Times
The PSP is notorious for having extremely long load times which can really effect the pacing of a game. Compare this to the DS, the PSP's biggest competitor in the handheld market, and this weakness is magnified even more (Nintendo's system has literally no load times, being cartridge based). So when considering the load, it's the PSP 0, DS 1.
13- Xbox 360's External Wireless Adapter
Microsoft made another poor hardware decision when they decided not to include built-in wireless capabilities for the Xbox. Unlike other Next-Gen systems, the 360 requires you to either directly plug in an Ethernet cord or purchase a $100 wireless accessory to access online content. This, coupled with the price of an online subscription fee, made an already expensive system even more unattractive.
14- Wii Accessories
Since Nintendo has released a new revolutionary system, a bunch of third-party manufacturers apparently think they can release equally revolutionary accessories. One look at Pega's Trauma Center Wii Kit, will have you thinking otherwise. And it's not just the third parties that are putting out shoddy peripherals; Nintendo's Wii Zapper was equally crappy, and also not worth its price.
15- No Rumble in the Sixaxis
Just prior to the release of the PS3, Sony made a last-second switch, deciding to incorporate a new technology in their controllers at the expense of the familiar rumble function. Not only did this upset many gamers, but it reeked of desperate plagiarism since Nintendo had already announced and displayed similar features. Fortunately, Sony has since announced it will be bringing the rumble back.
16- Wii and Microsoft points
Ever notice that after using your points to purchase some online content you always seem to have a small portion of remaining points? Not enough to buy another game or video, but just enough to almost buy another game or video. This is a calculated move intended to once again sap a few remaining dollars out of the pockets of gamers, who are persuaded by the ruse that a little bit more money could get a lot more content.
