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Review: Men In Black II

Review by STARDINGO | 07/02/2002 | 16:34:13 PM PST

Barry Sonnenfeld, Will Smith, and Tommy Lee Jones get neuralyzed and unknowingly make the same exact film they made five years ago.

Men in Black II is like a paint-by-numbers Rembrandt Springtime Lily Pond done by Rembrandt himself while he was waiting for his oatmeal to set. Well, OK, maybe not Rembrandt. Bob Ross, perhaps. It clearly bears the mark of someone who knew what he was doing?the colors are all correct, the paint was applied evenly, and they even kept within the lines the whole time?and even if it obviously didn?t take a whole lot of effort, you have to admit?it?s a very nice paint-by-numbers Bob Ross Springtime Lily Pond indeed.

Quite content to rest on their laurels, the makers of Men in Black II have essentially repackaged everything that was fun and popular from the first film and presented it again in a slightly rearranged form. MIIB hits all the first film?s high notes in succession?the talking pug dog, the small (but very, very important) piece of glowing jewelry, neuralyzing for comedic effect, the worm guys, weird celebrity cameos, Tony Shalhoub?s head getting blown up?but plays them a little louder, and repeats them a few times for maximum milking effect.

Now, I have to admit it: I wasn?t really a big fan of the first MIB. I found the story dull, and many of the jokes only half-functioning. Aside from from watching Tommy Lee Jones talk, the real saving grace of the film was the gaggle of crazy aliens and nifty Rick Baker puppetoons that populated Barry Sonnenfeld?s world; MIB?s background was much more interesting than its foreground.

Sadly, the new MIIB crazy alien creations aren?t nearly as crazily creative or goofily imaginative as in the first one. Take, for another example, a thuggish alien man wearing a giant tent-like black jacket/gown. He glides about the floor, and is about 8 feet tall, despite his normally-proportioned head; it?s obvious that there?s something weird hidden underneath that draping dress/suit?but once it?s revealed, it?s a an uninspired disappointment, and rather poorly animated to boot. The two villains?Johnny Knoxville as a guy with two heads, and Lara Flynn Boyle as a girl with finger snakes?aren?t nearly as hammed up or freaked-out as Vincent D?Onofrio?s bug man. And it?s kind of sad when the most imaginative special effects come at the beginning of the film, in the form of a mock low-budget Peter Graves television special detailing Secrets of the Mystic Unknown with paper plate spaceships and alien creatures made of garden hose and chicken wire.

Now, don?t get me wrong. I was entertained by Men In Black II. It?s fast and funny, and Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones hit all their beats. It just shares the same ?been there, done that, that, that, and that? disease as the second Austin Powers movie. It won?t take a neuralyzer to make you forget what you saw.


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