Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus

Sometimes, you have to put the guns down and get up close and personal

Sometimes, you have to put the guns down and get up close and personal

What's in a Name?

Graphically, Dirge of Cerberus is a huge letdown. While it's well understood that the PlayStation 2 is not a technical powerhouse, any number of mediocre games released for the platform since 2002 have proven that the little loud black box is capable of much, much more - especially from industry leaders like Square-Enix.

Bland, unnecessarily dark levels set the stage for clunky combat against wave after wave of indistinct, mindless drones. Even Vincent himself looks like a cape wearing cross between Edward Scissorhands and Michael Jackson. Given the rich fantasy lineage from which this messy shooter hails, its hard to believe that the generic, blocky backgrounds and ho-hum character design is in anyway derived from one of the greatest games of all time.

Remote Control

Sadly, the control doesn't fare much better. While the ability to swap between third- and first-person perspectives on the fly is a welcome feature, the unreliable targeting system will likely stymie you in tough situations, resulting in excess damage taken and wasted ammo. Vincent can resort to fisticuffs for close range combat, but the annoying stuttering pauses between combos leaves you wide open to enemy counter attacks, forcing you to pick off enemies from afar. And with only a weak evasive maneuver and no discernable counterattacks at his disposal, Vincent seems more like an immobile bullet-magnet than a brutal badass. On the bright side, however, the voice acting is well done (Vincent shares his voice with Spike of Cowboy Bebop fame) and Dirge of Cerberus does include a decent score.

Old Heroes, New Problems

Diehard Final Fantasy VII fans will be excited to learn more about the life of the ultra-mysterious Mr. Valentine - and for some the storyline and plot revelations will be well worth the price. But for serious action/shooting fans and RPG enthusiasts, Dirge of Cerberus will likely prove a disappointment as one of Square-Enix's rare (and unfortunate) blunders. Unfortunately for Final Fantasy VII fans, this first (and perhaps final) series spin-off fails to capitalize on it's amazing potential by instead looking and feeling as antiquated as the decade-old source material on which its based. Those intrigued by the esoteric nonsense of this year's DVD release, Final Fantasy: Advent Children, will likely relish the incoherent sci-fi narrative. But serious action gamers and those simply seeking a nostalgic dose of Final Fantasy magic would be better off renting, rather than adding, this title to their game libraries.

PROTIP: As in any Final Fantasy games, having plenty of potions on hand is a must

PROTIP: As in any Final Fantasy games, having plenty of potions on hand is a must

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