Ninety-Nine Nights (2 of 2)

Protip: Take out stragglers early so you don't have to go looking for them in a crowd

Protip: Take out stragglers early so you don't have to go looking for them in a crowd

Gilding the Lily

Trouble is, once the sheen of the presentation wears off, there's not much left to speak of. The ostensibly powerful weapons and items collected from the battlefield simply don't have enough of a tangible effect on your powers. Given that you start off as practically a god, perhaps this isn't terribly surprising, but leveling via the collection of orbs, equipping new weapons, and donning new accessories quickly becomes a pointless exercise. Sometimes it seems like even the developers realized this, as goodies will occasionally drop in places you can't even get to.

So, you figure, presumably that's where the armies under your command come into play, right? Wrong. Sure, you can choose between light and heavy infantry, pikemen, and archers, but they're all equally worthless on the field, endlessly circling enemies and doing precious little damage when they do get around to swinging sword. They're so ineffectual that you'll usually find them loitering around the few goons you don't dispatch yourself. You'd think a heavily armed troop of professional soldiers could cut down the stragglers you leave in your wake, but you've invariably got to dispatch them yourself. Ultimately, these dimwits serve only to distract enemy cannon fodder from your presence. Thankfully, most of the enemies that get thrown your way pose virtually no threat to your health meter, making your companions lack of discipline easier to swallow.

Long Distance Runner
Protip: Don't be stingy about using your red orb magic

Protip: Don't be stingy about using your red orb magic

In fact, the only enemies that will actually present a challenge are the bigger boss creatures, which tend to be ridiculously overpowered compared to their shock troops. As pretty as the environments you'll tread are, stomping through 45 minutes of visually appealing but repetitive hack-and-slash combat only to get cut down by a boss monster that, inexplicably, won't take damage most of the time, is enough to make you take up knitting, since it always sends you back to the beginning to try again, minus all the experience and items you gathered along the way. After this happens a couple times, you're far more likely to just turn the console off than to make another attempt, or replay previous levels in a boring bid to artificially inflate your character's level. There's not even a difficulty setting to help alleviate the irritation.

In the final analysis, Ninety-Nine Nights isn't a bad time. It just turns out to be an object example of how even the prettiest eye candy can't mask flawed mechanics for long, and how gameplay that aims for greatness can stumble and wind up slumming it in Mediocre Town. Ninety-Nine Nights might be a good game to crack out when you just want to mash buttons and take in the fireworks, but if you're looking for a more lasting and memorable experience you're out of luck.

Giving new meaning to the term

Giving new meaning to the term "army of one"

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