Tokyo Beat Down

by Will Herring
March 31, 2009 00:00 AM PST

Let's take a trip back to a simpler time when the best way to get revenge on your foes was to walk confidently down the street (always to the right), stopping only to beat up whatever scumbag got in your way. Success' latest beat-em-up extravaganza, Tokyo Beat Down captures this retro hard-boiled ambiance with style, but does it have the substance to back up its flair?

A fantastically campy romp through cop shows of old, Tokyo Beat Down is sure to re-ignite the side-scrolling passion felt from veteran beat-em-up gamers everywhere.

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Shinjuku Vice

The criminal underworld of Tokyo is a tough crowd to run with, but one name still makes even the most jaded misanthrope shudder with fear: the Yaesu Beast Cops. This collection of hard-brawling officers of the law has no problem pummeling, pounding, and shooting first before even bothering to ask a question. When a bomb scare shakes their city to its core, it's up to the Beast Cops to restore order and peace to Tokyo by any means necessary, all the while unraveling a mysterious plot filled with intrigue, assassins, and explosions. Lots and lots of explosions. Tokyo Beat Down is a side-scrolling brawler in the vein of such classics as Streets of Rage and Final Fight. You take control of aptly named Officer Lewis Cannon -- a mixture of every cop cliche this side of McClane and Riggs. Beat Down is rendered in 3D, but plays on a 2D field and really captures the feel of the old Konami arcade beat-em-ups. From destructible crates, barrels and phone booths to a giant, flashing "GO!" symbol, Tokyo Beat Down is a wonderful trip down memory lane for any bare-knuckle enthusiast.

Lethal Weapons

The game's tongue-in-cheek cut-scenes are told through expertly drawn comic-book panels, with hilarious and oftentimes eye-rolling dialogue coming from every direction ("It's time to put the K.O. in Tokyo!") Tokyo Beat Down's story is the perfect way to measure the gaming experience the title offers up: zany, over-the-top, and downright simple fun. While you won't find the deepest or most original action in Beat Down, you're guaranteed enough campy humor, outrageous scenery and addictive brawling action to keep you coming back for more.

As the game progresses, you'll be able to take control of other Beast Cops such as the sexy and deadly Rika Hyoda -- not to mention the tough-as-nails Captain Takeshi Bando. While each character has a unique combo set as well as distinctive special attacks (Rika's knee to the groin is a killer) the three protagonists really don't play too differently aside from some small speed factors. All three characters carry hand-cannons at all times (rubber bullets -- honest) when fisticuffs aren't enough to take down the oncoming barrage of palette-swapped enemies. While the Beast Cops can trade their pistols for other firearms that they find on the field, you're almost always limited to just using your fists and equipped weapons, while enemies will come at you from all directions brandishing knives, crow-bars -- hell, even RPGs! While it would've been nice to see a bit more variety in Beat Down, I still found myself more than happy to use my fists as problem solvers when the odds were stacked against me.

"You Beat Them Down!"

It goes without saying that Tokyo Beat Down isn't going to knock your socks off as the most revolutionary video game to hit the DS, but all things considered I still had an absolute blast with this throw-back to cheesy coin-op beat-em-ups and even cheesier cop shows. From its hilariously campy dialogue to the fantastic seventies vibe, Tokyo Beat Down is worth checking out for on-the-go brawlers, and with it's almost non-existent learning curve it's absolutely perfect for first time fisticuffs.

PROS: Wonderfully cheesy atmosphere; old-school beat-em-up gameplay
CONS: Repetitive battles; lack of variety; no co-op?!