Feature

Halo 2 Taboos

By Mr. Marbles
June 29, 2006 12:10 PM PST
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We name the 10 best ways to alienate, confuse, and enrage your opponents on Xbox Live. You won't believe our list!

The king of Xbox Live is still going strong a year and a half after its release, but Halo 2's online multiplayer is far from flawless. And if you're a Halo 2 matchmaking regular, you know that there are more than a few ways to piss off fellow fraggers. Like Baraka's Blade Fury in MKII, there are certain things in Halo 2 that you just shouldn't do. So we give you 10 Halo 2 Taboos. Enjoy!

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Voice Masking

Halo 2's options menu allows you to add voice masking to your headset output for reasons we, well, can't fully explain. It's hard enough to hear someone's regular voice when it's piped through the poorly designed Xbox Live mic, so why do we need to add an obnoxious after-effect that makes players sound like robotic throat cancer survivors? Xbox Live already grants virtual anonymity, so unless you're the paranoid type, there's no excuse for scrambling your voice. Don't be stupid.

The Corpse Hump / Tea Bagging

Corpse humping (or tea bagging, if that's your, um, cup of tea) was popularized in the original Halo multiplayer modes, and its popularity lives on in Halo 2. The concept is simple: after a player is killed, the victor defiles the body of his foe with a simulated act of necrophilia -- in this case, rapidly pressing the crouch button. For most Halo players, corpse humping is merely a phase. But alas, all things get stale, and now what used to be a humiliating afterthought is nothing more than a blatant n00b move.

That's so 2001!

No Rocket Reload aka "The Curse"

We have coined this "The Curse (thanks Jeff)," for there is no greater newb identifier than the failure to reload the two-shot Rocket Launcher before moving in for the kill. It's easier to point out in a split-screen game, but if someone comes at you with a single rocket blast and then backs away like an idiot trying to reload the cheesiest of all Halo 2 weapons, you know they amatuer'd out.

Your unpreparedness disgusts me.

No Headset

Playing a ranked team game without a headset is just plain brainless. Granted, the Xbox 360 headset hurts like all hell after a lengthy online session, but if you can't communicate with your team, you're little more than a liability. Going incommunicado is cause for post-game defamation and plenty of "seriously, what the f*#k were you thinking?!"s.