How I got addicted to GTA: Chinatown Wars

How I got addicted to GTA: Chinatown Wars

Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars' sales may be in the toilet, but it's still one of the greatest Nintendo DS games ever made.

It's 11:45PM on a Monday and I needed to get up early in the morning to catch the train into downtown San Francisco, where GamePro headquarters are located. Dead to the world, my girlfriend Michelle is snoring slightly. I should have been asleep over an hour ago, but I can't pry my Nintendo DS from my hands.

Just one more coke deal. Just one more visit to a Liberty City Lotto to buy scratch off tickets. Just one more attempt at getting a better time in a mission where I need to drive a stolen ambulance as best I can, while electrically shocking my hostage/passenger's failing heart, keeping him alive long enough to bring him to my Chinese crime boss so he can literally cut out his beating heart.

I've got so much sh*t to do tomorrow at work, but I don't care because I'm only 42.45% through Grand Theft Auto: Chinatown Wars after playing the game several days in a row for an unhealthy number of hours. Screw it. I'm going to be sleepy as hell tomorrow anyway, so I might as well play more. My name is Patrick Shaw and I've become a GTA-a-holic.

How I got addicted to GTA: Chinatown Wars

Dumpster diving for uzis and planting bombs on cars are just a few of the ways you can take advantage of the DS touch screen in Chinatown Wars.

Now I know why they invented the touch screen...

I get my hands on a wad of Lotto scratchers, which I then furiously rub with the stylus to reveal that, just like my luck in real life casinos, I haven't won anything. As with every GTA game, from the original Grand Theft Auto to Grand Theft Auto IV, in Chinatown Wars a good chunk of the fun to be had is exploring the city to see what it has to offer. After hotwiring a blue Infernus, the Lamborghini knock-off of the GTA world, which requires me to rip out some wires and deactivate a security system, I'm feeling artistic so I head for the nearest tattoo shop.

Giving lowlifes bad tattoos by using the stylus as an ink gun is incredibly satisfying. I'm doing pretty well, engraving my third tattoo, a gaudy Chinese symbol, on the back of a patron, when my intestines feel like feel like a plumber's snake is being driven through them. I'm feeling the wrath of the 99 cent double beef burritos I ate a couple hours ago. I figure I should probably take a break, but then I remember I'm not playing PS3, Wii, or 360 -- I've got nothing restricting my game playing to this area I'm in. So my game continues as I do my business.

How I got addicted to GTA: Chinatown Wars
A protagonist I can get behind...

After wasting time tattooing dragons and other designs onto people's flesh, I decide it's time to jump into another mission as Huang Lee. Huang's arguably the least pretentious protagonist to appear in a GTA game, as he's able to step outside of his video game world and actually make fun of the douche game character cliches you meet in the game.

Maybe I'll move on to my next mission or maybe I'll replay the one where you get to control a Chinese ceremonial dragon, spewing fire by blowing into the DS mic. Chinatown Wars is the first game in the Grand Theft Auto series to allow you to go back and replay any level you want, which is exactly what I do before finally passing out around 12:30.

I wake up and there's no time for a shower so I stick a toothbrush in my mouth for a few seconds, snatch my DS, which I somehow remember to charge, and microwave a mug of stale coffee from yesterday. I pound the coffee on the way to my car and just barely make it to my train on time. Andy Burt, GamePro's previews editor, is waiting on the platform and we ride the train together.

Comments [13]

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PlasmaSnake

Yoere adicted to grand theft auto china town wars too? I can't stop playing it and ya that sucks is not selling

TravisMoses

"So my game continues as I do my business," and I know he's not even joking.

AndyBurt

TravisMoses wrote:

"So my game continues as I do my business," and I know he's not even joking.

I think this is what Pat's been after his whole life.

maranda

I want chinatown for the DS!!!!!!!!!... but first I want a DSi. Are there any new colors coming out soon?

PatrickShaw

SonOfTheShiningPath wrote:

TravisMoses wrote:

"So my game continues as I do my business," and I know he's not even joking.
I think this is what Pat's been after his whole life.

How dare you.

Ryan

Yea this game is almost huger than life. Best DS game I've ever played!!!

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