St. Patrick's Day: Gaming's 17 Most Fiery Redheads
- March 16, 2009 16:22 PM PST
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In honor of St Patrick's day, we honor Ireland's signature look--a scalp full of flowing red hair!
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Besides beer and terrible, terrible cuisine, Ireland's most notable export is the redhead. While some may deride these people with red hair as coppertops, gingers, and fire crotches (please note that we will, but only for lack of synonyms for redhead), these many fiery video game characters show that heroes and villians can have hair of any color.
17-Lammy from Um Jammer Lammy
When your hair burns red like the flames of hell you know that you're born to play Satan's music (i.e. Rock 'n' Roll), and if you're a female lamb to boot, then rock comes about as naturally as eating grass and then shitting grass. However, due to Lammy's "Rock 'n roll" lifestyle, grass isn't only utilized as food. No, sometimes Lammy likes to stuff a "wackier" variety of grass into an apparatus and then go all Michael Phelps on it.
16-Sarah Morrison from Tabula Rasa
It's comforting to know that when humans are on the verge of extinction, our military leaders, who have been entrusted to save humanity, will still make posing naked in the pages of Playboy a priority. Because it's common knowledge that invading aliens can't stand the sight of a gun-totting fire crotch in her birthday suit. Mankind's greatest weapon shall be Sarah Morrison's fiery bush.
15-Princess Daisy from Super Mario Brothers
For princesses in the Mushroom Kingdom, there is no greater honor than to have an adult relationship with that plumber who spends half his time as a midget. Unfortunately, and as most gamers know, Mario has a thing for buxom blondes. So where does that leave a buxom carrot-top, a.k.a. Princess Daisy? With Mario's awkward younger brother who always wears all green, likely due to bis obsession with the Irish.
14-Nariko from Heavenly Sword
Although most people think of God as a peaceful creator, He also enjoys him some swords as much as most Lord of the Rings fanboys. Hence his creation of the deadly weapon known as the Heavenly Sword. And who better to hold and protect such a sword? Certainly not an overweight 37-year old who calls himself Aragon and lives in his mother's basement, but a beautiful redhead who calls herself Nariko and runs around in next to nothing.
13-Regina from Dino Crisis
We all know that there are two things Redheads hate: being sober and dinosaurs. That's why when the Government needs either dinosaurs or alcoholic beverages eradicated, it calls upon the ginger. In fact the Government has become so appreciative of the ginger's efforts in the battle on these fronts that it's considering putting Regina's epic battle with that drunken Stegosaurus on the back of the new 13-dollar bill.
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- Mar 16 2009 at 04:52:33:PM PST
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ViciousSid wrote:
Even better title: Gaming's 17 Firecrotches. ;-)
lol. Nice list, good job. I think Nariko should be moved up though, like in the top ten.
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First of all, Princess Daisy, Kasume and Kairi have BROWN hair.
Secondly, where's Meryl? I think MGS is a bigger game than Um-Jammer Lammy.
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oh yeah, what about Jean Grey from X-men? She's been in X-men Legends 1 and 2, she should be on the list.
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Beatrix wrote:
First of all, Princess Daisy, Kasume and Kairi have BROWN hair.
Secondly, where's Meryl? I think MGS is a bigger game than Um-Jammer Lammy.
i agree with meryl, but daisy, kasume, and kairi do have red hair. No offense but u should get your eyes checked.
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ViciousSid wrote:
Even better title: Gaming's 17 Firecrotches. ;-)
Sid, I like the way you think.
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