GamePro presents March Sadness!
- March 07, 2008 21:26 PM PST
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Bracket 2: Games
1- Superman 64
Probably the most well-known title that has received the unfortunate "worst game ever" moniker, Superman 64 did an excellent job of failing in every regard. An attempt to name every fault would be impossible in such a limited amount of space, so just rest easy knowing the company that released this game is no longer in business.
2- Shaq-Fu
There was a time when monstrous basketball player Shaquille O'Neal was so popular that he could appear in nearly every product on the market and make huge amounts of money. Fortunately, this wasn't true in the video game arena, where he released a much maligned fighter known as Shaq-fu to dismal sales and poor reaction. He still remains unbelievably rich though.
3- The Zelda CD-i Trilogy
When other companies attempt to make games based on Nintendo properties, this is the unfortunate result. Three unholy Zelda titles were made by Philips for a short-lived cd-rom system called CD-i, and these three titles have remained in the collective gamer conscious for two reasons: (1) the games are considered to be amongst the worst ever made, and (2) Link has never looked so womanly.
4- Shadow the Hedgehog
Take Sonic the Hedgehog, color him black, and then give him a clich, uninteresting back story and you have Shadow the Hedgehog. Sega believes that by making anthropomorphic animals a little darker, an older, more mature audience will be attracted to their games of continually decreasing quality. But they are wrong.
5- Yaris
The worst advergame ever created was made by Toyota, promoting their tiny new car called the Yaris. This game resembled the Sonic the Hedgehog 3D mini games where you raced through a U-shaped tube collecting rings, only in Yaris, you had to avoid mp3 players and sumo wrestlers on motorcycles. The game was free, but after playing it you undoubtedly found yourself thinking "what a rip off."
6- Kane and Lynch: Dead Men
Calling Kane and Lynch an average game would be incredibly complimentary; however, the reason for hating this game is not solely because of its crappy content, but because a Gamespot editor lost his job after giving it a very fair review. This title represents exactly what happens when money attempts to control the quality of the industry.
7- Sequels
In video games, the sequel represents a lack of innovation, an attempt to repackage an already successful product in the hopes that the consumer hasn't yet tired of it. In this industry, this technique is terribly overused and the only medium that seems poised to rival it in sheer number of follow-ups is pornography. So it's in good company.
8- Snood
Snood represents one of the most deplorable varieties of video game: the rip-off. Essentially, Snood is a game called Bust a Move, only it's far less popular and came out five years later. It attempts to make the claim that by giving its multi-colored pieces faces, it's a completely original title. However, the faces don't add any additional gameplay elements and, in fact, make the game even more annoying.
9- Duke Nukem Forever
The most patient video game fans on the planet must be Duke Nukem Forever fans, since they've had to wait on this game since its development began in 1997. And while it's not unusual for video games to miss their original targeted release dates, an 11-year hiatus is unusual to the point of absurdity. Duke Nukem Forever, you have become a joke.
10- Mother 3's Japan-only release
Mother 3 was a well-received and highly sought after Nintendo RPG, that, for one reason or another, never made it to western shores. Great efforts have been made to get a translated copy released here, but to date, these efforts have proved unsuccessful. In reality, there are many great Japanese games that never make their way stateside, and Mother 3 is a good representative of them.
11- Mortal Kombat Mythologies: Sub-Zero
Mortal Kombat Mythologies was an attempt to further capitalize on the Mortal Kombat craze through a technique more commonly seen in television: the spin-off. Unfortunately, the graphics, control, level design, sound, pacing, animation, difficulty and general gameplay were very poorly done. And as a result, this title nearly single-handedly KO'd this once successful franchise.
12- Guitar Hero Rocks the 80's
This game represents what happens when the industry recognizes an opportunity to cash in on established success and releases a sub-par product knowing that consumers will still purchase it. This game was shorter, had a crappier line-up and used music from one of the most unusual decades, yet it still cost the price of a regular new release.
13- The $10 Next-Gen Game Fee
For years the $50 new-game-price-tag was a constant in gaming, establishing a convention that had been accepted by many consumers as fair. However, that all changed with the arrival of the current generation, when the industry decided that an extra $10 charge would be necessary to continue profiting. And profit they certainly have, but is this due to a higher quality of game? Or the gamers' empty pockets?
14- Manhunt 2 Censored
Manhunt 2 was subject to one of the biggest acts of video game censorship to date, and the forced changes made to this game were so painfully apparent that ultimately the overall quality of the title was severely affected. And yet, to say that this game would have been a good game had "the man" not become involved would be a pretty big stretch.
15- Premium Content
Premium Content is an online marketplace service that asks you to pay an unreasonable amount of money for tiny game add-ons that will in no way affect the game. Ultimately, this is another poorly disguised effort by the industry to take away money from gamers, who, for whatever reason, have become convinced that their horse could indeed use some armor.
16- Still no new Punch-Out or Kid Icarus
These two classic games are both highly regarded, now just as much as when they were first released over ten years ago. So one wonders why these titles, after receiving so much admiration and success, would have to wait so long to see modern remakes done. Especially when other companies are comfortable remaking titles just a couple years after their first run.
